Do not fret: if you’ve been experiencing some dryness, you do not have, to quote Issa Rae, a "broken pu**y". We’ve been taught to believe that 'wetness' and 'arousal' (your nervous system’s response to sexually relevant stimuli) are one and the same. And that if your knickers aren’t soaking wet before sex, then there must be something wrong with you. Wrong.

Firstly, genital response is not always a measure of desire in women. It’s totally normal for the two to fall out of tune with each other, and it even has a name; it’s called 'arousal nonconcordance'. Secondly, vaginal dryness is usually temporary and isn’t a cause for concern – it’s a common side effect that can occur at any time in a person with a vulva’s lifetime that comes with many contributing factors.

There can be a number of reasons for experiencing dryness – both psychological and physiological. Symptoms may even include a burning sensation, vaginal discomfort or itching, abnormal vaginal discharge, or pain during sex or self-pleasure. So, whether you’re drier than you would like to be during sexual activity, or are experiencing more general discomfort due to said dryness, here are some of the possible causes and solutions…

“Why am I dry?”

The hormone estrogen helps to keep the vagina moist and to maintain the thickness of the vaginal lining. Atrophic vaginitis (vulvovaginal atrophy) is a common condition that can occur when the ovaries produce a decreased amount of estrogen, which includes the prominent symptom of vaginal dryness. This can happen during menopause, after having a baby – particularly if breastfeeding – and also if you’re taking medications which interfere with reproductive hormone regulation (such as breast cancer treatments or certain gonadotrophin releasing hormone agonists). And if you’ve recently had your ovaries removed, or gone through chemotherapy or radiation therapy of the pelvis, this can cause it too.

“Why am I not horny, either?”

If you’re no longer getting wet during sex, there could be a number of reasons. Ever considered that maybe your partner just doesn’t turn you on anymore? If you feel turned on but are still dry, your body might simply need time to catch up with your brain. But if you’re noticing vaginal dryness along with a lack of sexual desire, you may be experiencing low libido. This can be caused by a number of factors including medication and health conditions. However, you just might not be all that into your partner – and that’s OK, babe.

“So, how do I treat it?”

• If you’re experiencing the dreaded dryness since you started taking some form of medication or hormonal birth control: talk to your healthcare professional about trying another one that’s a better fit for your body
• If you think it all comes down to low estrogen levels, there are several treatment options: vaginal moisturizers or lubricants, local vaginal estrogen cream or tablet, systemic estrogen (and progesterone) therapy, or sometimes selective estrogen receptor modulators (SERMs). #OBVS the first thing you should do is book in to see your medical provider
• If what your sexual partner is doing isn’t working for you, try discussing your sexual likes and dislikes – sometimes just talking about it can get you going. Although, if you’re lacking desire for your partner, what happens next is totally up to you.
• If you feel turned on but you’re not wet, spending more time on foreplay can be one way to increase your natural lubrication. Another option is to reach for the lube.